The 4th Of July 2019 Excursion
The 4th Of July 2019 Excursion '''was an outing by the members of Steak Connections to fuck some shit up. Almost everyone in the group had some cash in their pockets so they ran down to their local fireworks store and bought a bunch of shit. Events '''Attack on The Dinkster Household The members of Steak Connections made a mark on one of the member's own houses by throwing a silver salute at his house. Being a mildly large firecracker, and the event occurring on a quiet night, the explosion created quite an effect on the inhabitants of said house. The man of the household rushed outside donning nothing but underwear and wielding a Glock. He found no foe to vanquish as the 98' Oldsmobile Cutlass had accelerated away. This is only one of the multiple similar attacks on the same household. Siege and Infiltration of The Dinkster Property Another event related to The Dinkster House happened around the 4th of July when members of Steak Connections arrived in The Dinkster's backyard alleyway. As they unloaded legally questionable explosives from the car, suspicious neighbors threatened to call the police on the unidentifiable people in their neighbor's backyard. With swift thinking, the crew sat upon the porch of The Dinkster House until the neighbors realized the familiar member and subsequently quit caring. As Lisitsa and Kekrov launched bottle rockets into a surrounding field, Steak and The Dinkster ignited a mysterious box. The box began with whimsical and quiet sparking. Without warning, this was followed with full volume firework explosions and bright sparking. Being 11:30 at night, everyone involved ran to the car and got the hell out of dodge as to avoid a mass agro put on surrounding houses. Siege on the Police After both attacks on The Dinkster Household, The Bois returned to Kekrov's house. All members took cover as an unidentified vehicle drove past. All members except Kekrov himself. In a brave act of defiance, he held up an unwavering middle finger at what was eventually revealed to be a local sheriff vehicle. This marked the end of that night's explosive-related fun as all of the pussies retreated into the house. Attack on USPS/Crackhead Retards While circling the local infrastructure, two males were spotted at the local post office. The crew had a handful of recreational explosives on board the vehicle that Steak was driving. He came back around, launched his car over the tracks, and abruptly stopped in front of the post office. With deft hands, Gregory lit and tossed a singular firecracker, loudly exploding mere inches from the hand that threw it. As the gas was stomped and the RPM's maxed, the car was gone in an instant, its form shrouded by the dark of night. The two unfortunate do-badders shooting heroin or some gay shit at the post office could be heard shouting, "What the fuck, man!" after dropping his Motorola Razor phone or something of the like. Shortly after this event, one of the Einsteins ended up OD-ing. He survived though. The Attack on Dinkster's Senses As the evening set in on the Kek household, The Bois were fucking around with the smaller of the firecrackers. In a lob that rivals that of a seasoned basketball professional, Lisitsa threw the perfect underhand toss. Gracefully tumbling through the air and over a vehicle, the final resting place of said firecracker was at Steak and Dinkster's eye level. This methodical shot both deafened and partially blinded The Dinkster for a short time. Lisitsa has been awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for his one in a million shot and is commended to this day. Burnt Fingers Both Kek and Dinker would succumb to phalangeal damage. Kekrov had chose to hold a particularly short-fused bomb. The same instant it was lit, it forcefully removed a layer of skin. In a more retarded incident, a game of "Hot Potato" was played with an actively burning fuse. The Dinkster was the last one to receive it and instead of dropping it, he held it until the fuse reached his finger, in turn rendering him burnt. He whined like a little baby man until the pain subsided. Rocket Car Joge hatched the brainiac plan to launch a bottle rocket from a moving car. The ensuing sparks created would fly from the rocket directly into the eyes of the backseat passenger, Doinker. Note, the optimal time to throw a held launched bottle rocket is 4.5 seconds, determined by extensive testing from the Steak Scientific Branch of Steak Connections. Trivia * Even though he was main grenadier, Kekrov proved to be a major retard. * Safety precautions were not followed that day. * Somehow, no one ended up with lasting epidermal or corneal damage.